BRILLIANCE IN PERFORMANCE
Or... are you listening?
Originally published in SHOPTALK on 10/20/99.
The word "listen" is defined in Webster's Unabriged
Dictionary this way: lis-ten: v. 1. to make a conscious effort to hear; to
attend closely, so as to hear. 2. to hear.
Seems like an obvious enough concept... but how many of
you think of listening when you're the one doing the presenting? That's a
different twist on the topic than is generally considered. Listening well is
such an important and subtle skill for any presenter, on-camera talent, voice
talent... any communicator; that it bears some consideration in this
application.
Start at the most obvious level; real life. How many
people do you know in your life who REALLY listen? How many people pay close
attention to you, truly hear the meaning in what you say and respond to it and
not their own agenda? Can you do it? Many say that listening is becoming
a lost art. In fact, true listeners are rare enough in real life - and downright
scarce amongst the ranks of talent, be they reporters, anchors, voice over
talent or corporate presenters.
In the SHOPTALK series article entitled "Get the
Picture", the concept of having a two-way conversation was introduced.
The concept is simple enough: when you're presenting in ANY media (including
real life!); talk TO the other person. Try to listen and respond
to the other person; don't simply spew your own agenda.
In order to do this, the act of listening is crucial. By
truly "listening with intent to hear" someone, you can pick up a wealth of
information way beyond the words they're using. You learn how they feel, how
your story affected them and what their take is on the matter. When you
sincerely pay attention to another's concerns as you communicate, you connect
with them as a human being. If someone ever does this for you, you'll be deeply
affected by this simple act. Have a child or an elderly friend or relative? Then
you know how important it is to sit down, listen and pay attention to them.
Perhaps what they have to say isn't so fascinating - but the important thing is
for them to feel heard. This is one of our basic human needs. When we don't feel
heard; we feel invisible and act accordingly. If you don't listen properly, your
audience will withdraw, pull back, cease to be involved and hence, become
disconnected - from you.
Needless to say, this is not the affect you want
to have on your audience!
Good listeners possess qualities that good talent,
whether voice over, reporter, anchor or presenter in any venue also happens to
exhibit. Every good listener I've seen to date, show themselves as being someone
who cares, who is interested, who is engaged and involved in what is being said
to them and is genuine. When a good listener finally does speak, people
tend to really listen!. Why? Because not only will this person's point of view
be relevant, inclusive and interesting (because he/she was listening) - but this
person will STILL BE LISTENING and focusing on you, even while he or she is
talking.
Remember... the second definition of listening above is
to Pay Attention.
Which is another way to describe focus.
A good communicator treasures the kind of rapport
focused listening creates. As one, the last thing you'd do is destroy that
precious bond by suddenly blabbing on about something irrelevant to the
conversation. (Which isn't to say there aren't plenty of people who do this!) In
this "good communicator" scenario, you would try to speak from an understanding
and a connection to the other person's perspective, to their emotion, to their
story, whatever it may be. You would still be, in essence, listening as you
speak. You'd be focused, connected to them. By maintaining this connection,
you'd see/hear their response to your words as you go along.
Which is exactly what you must do on-camera, on-mic, or
in front of an audience.
Whether or not you can physcially see the person you're
talking to, there IS someone there listening, responding, forming opinions,
having reactions to you... just like real life! If you want them to listen to
YOU, you've got to connect with them in some way. Hear, feel, see their face,
their reactions. Get them inside of you. Like you do with your elderly relative,
your child, or anyone you really want to connect with. Then you have to hold
onto that connection as you talk; ESPECIALLY if you're on-camera or behind a mic,
and are the only one talking. Doing this gives you the inspiration about how to
say the words, how to move, gesture. But unless you genuinely listen,
pay attention and connect to who you're talking to, you're lost
before you start.
Learning how to focus, listen and respond
will make you a better presenter, regardless of your discipline. And who
knows... maybe even a better person!
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